💸 “Can I Have the Soft Life If I Make More Than Him?”

The Soft Life Club | Girl Talk x Money Moves

Let’s talk about something no one preps you for when you finally get everything you’ve ever worked for:

You’ve built the life.
You’ve secured the bag.
You’ve healed, thrived, and glowed up.

And now... dating feels more complicated, not less.

This week, over late-night voice notes and purple bubble texts, my bestie Elle and I found ourselves spiraling (in the softest way) into a conversation that every high-achieving, emotionally intelligent woman will eventually face:

What does dating look like when you’re the stable one?
Can you really have the soft life… if you’re also the provider?

💬 "Do I Want a Partner, or a Project?"

It started with a question Elle posed:

“I don’t want to be the breadwinner. But I don’t want a rich asshole either.”

And just like that—we cracked open a truth so many of us are carrying:
We don’t need luxury. We need emotional safety.
We don’t need someone richer. We need someone solid.
But if we’re being real?
We’d still prefer they aren’t leaning on us financially.

⚖️ The Inner Tug-of-War: Security vs. Submission

Elle’s been talking to a guy. He’s normal. Emotionally available. Makes plans. Texts in complete sentences. He’s even kind.

And yet... it feels off.

“He’s suuuper sweet,” she said. “But I’m not obsessed. And that feels weird.”

We both know that feeling. When you’ve been trained by chaos, peace feels suspicious.
When you’ve been the one holding it down for years, the idea of receiving—even in a small, stable way—feels foreign.

We’re conditioned to associate passion with unpredictability.
But the truth is, being “obsessed” was often just our nervous system on red alert.
Peace isn’t boring—it’s just unfamiliar.

💼 When Income Becomes Intimacy

We finally admitted it out loud:
Talking money in relationships isn’t just awkward—it’s intimate.

I shared something I never say publicly:

“I’ve always asked myself—could I be with someone who makes under $200k? And honestly… I’ve never been able to say yes.”

Not because I’m materialistic.
Because I’m tired.
Because being the one who earns, plans, saves, and executes every move isn’t just a flex—it’s also exhaustion masked as competence.

“It’s not about needing someone rich,” Elle said. “It’s about needing someone emotionally secure, consistent, and not threatened by my glow.”

And in a world where women are constantly told to shrink, we’re asking a different question:

“Can I stay soft without having to shrink my success?”

💌 What We're Actually Craving

We want emotional leadership, not control.
Presence, not pressure.
Someone who brings value—even if it isn’t always financial.

And yes, we’ll say it:
We want men who aren’t intimidated by our ambition but also aren’t coasting on our stability.

We want to feel held, not just admired.

✨ Soft Life Truths We're Sitting With

• Making money doesn’t mean you have to carry everything—including the relationship.

• You are allowed to want financial compatibility and emotional connection.

• You don’t need to explain your standards. They’re born from what you’ve carried.

• Sometimes “peaceful” love won’t feel like a high. That doesn’t make it wrong.

• Success doesn’t make you too much. It just means your match needs to be more.

🧠 Final Thought: You’re Not Asking for Too Much

You’re just asking not to do it all alone.

And the soft life? It isn’t just facials and flights.
It’s asking who gets to pour into me while I’m pouring into the world?

It’s knowing you deserve:

• Real love without the burnout

• Partnership without the power struggle

• Freedom without performing gratitude for crumbs

So if you’re in your six-figure season and still asking, “Can he match my softness?”—you’re not crazy.

You’re just done being the strong one.
You’re ready to be held.